Dachshund vs Invincibles

invincibleI admit it: My Dog is a Serial Killer of toys!

It seems like I’m a sucker for every dog toy that is new and is advertised as indestructible, tough, or in this case “invincible”. This past Saturday I fell for it again and purchased a Kyjen Invincibles Snake for my Dachshund.  How could you possibly go wrong with a toy named “Invincibles” that “keep squeeking even when punctured!” Obviously, the toys have not been Dachshund tested.

A little bit about Dachshunds. My dog is a dachshund and most commonly referred to as a red or tweenie. In appearance he the conventional long-bodied, smooth coat, short legged dog that comes to mind. In other words, Rusty is your typical extended dachshund model weighing in at 19rusty-soccer pounds with 3 inch legs. He comes from a long line of German ancestry originally bred to hunt badgers (big, vicious, nasty buggers) and other den dwellers such as foxes, hares and weasels.  Even the breed name Dachshund translates to “badger hound“.  Anyway, Rusty is rather proud of his impressive heritage, but I have to admit he’s not the smartest of his breed (he’s a rescue with “issues”). Like all Dachshunds he comes equipped with learning disabilities (eg. the word “no” for example is not a word in his vocabulary) but that’s a subject for another time. Let’s just say Rusty is a rather proud representative of the breed, and a shining example of the best and worse qualities of the breed packed in one dog which I love dearly.

Of all the traits passed down through generations and generations of little wiener dogs, the main one that comes to mind when dealing with toys is “tenacious”. Webster dictionary describes tenacious as “tending to keep a firm hold of something; clinging or adhering closely.” Synonyms: persevering, persistent, determined, dogged, strong-willed, tireless, indefatigable, resolute, unwavering, unshakable, unyielding, insistent, and the list goes on. Let’s just say that in under 48 hours Rusty KILLED the invincible! Bluntly put, Rusty became the Marsellus Wallace (Pulp Fiction) of the canine world and went “medieval” on Mr. Snake.

R.I.P.  Mr. Snake. You fought well against the odds of becoming another carpet kill.

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